1 Nov

I’m sorry that my updates have become fewer and far between.  In addition to being busy with a variety of things, I have spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what comes next.  I’ve been anticipating (and somewhat dreading) the period of time from October 31 until January 8.  We have spent the past several months coping with various “firsts” since Sammy passed away, but the hardest firsts are ahead.

Yesterday was the “first” Halloween, and we chose to spend it out of town.  While I appreciate all of the kids in their costumes, I just didn’t feel I was ready this year to have them standing on my porch ringing my doorbell.  I enjoy autumn decorations and even cute Halloween decorations, but for the past few weeks, I’ve had to seek an alternate route to our house as one of our neighbors down the street has an actual casket decorating his front yard.  In past years, I’ve always thought it was dumb . . . this year, I find it disturbing.  So, we chose to avoid Halloween this year.

With a little creativity, I’m sure we could avoid Thanksgiving and Christmas as well; however, I don’t think that would be healthy or wise, so I’m hopeful that we will embrace them with happy memories.  I’ve read of an old Jewish proverb that says a person dies two deaths.  The first is the physical death; the second is when that person’s name ceases to be used.  Over the next several weeks, Steve and I will be preparing our hearts and minds for the holidays.  The best gift we can receive is the support of friends and individuals who love Sammy–to hear his name and to hear stories about how he touched lives.  These things don’t bring us pain; they bring us peace, comfort, and joy.

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