Archive | Grief RSS feed for this section

6th birthday

31 Mar

Sammy’s birthday is just around the corner on April 10, and it would be his 6th birthday.  Rather than focusing on our loss and sadness, it’s important for us to focus on the wonderful memories that we created with him.  In thinking about how we can honor Sammy on his birthday, Steve and I have decided to give Sammy’s wheelchair to another little boy with HPE.  Sammy’s wheelchair went to so many great places during Sammy’s life, and we’re excited to think that his wheelchair will once again be on the move.  Steve and I will be driving to West Virginia on Easter weekend to deliver the chair in person.  As we stop at rest areas along the way, we will release a few helium balloons and possibly have the opportunity to share Sammy’s story and our hope with others.

Sons of Thunder

28 Mar

As I type, I’m listening to the pouring rain outside and the thunder that comes with a spring thunderstorm.  Sammy definitely did not like thunder, and during storms, I would often tell him about how Jesus gave John and James the nickname of “sons of thunder”.  In one of my last conversations with Sammy, I whispered in his ear and told him about what he would find in heaven.  Just as a parent might mentally prepare a child for his or her very first day of school, I told him about what he might see and who he might meet in the next phase of his journey. I reminded him that he would meet Zebedee and his sons, John and James, and they would teach him about where the thunder comes from.  When I hear thunder now, I smile because I picture Sammy in heaven hanging out with John and James, and I wonder just what nickname they have given to him.

Absence

1 Mar

I apologize for my absence.  It has been a few difficult months, and I just haven’t been in the right frame of mind to update the site and share my feelings.  It’s important to me that I be as open and honest as I can be; however, transparency can be painful.

After Sammy’s death, I spent the first six months focused on preparations and fundraising for the National HPE Conference held in July.  With so many people counting on me and so much work to be done, I suppressed my grief and focused on the task at hand.

Thank goodness we were participating in weekly grief counseling with a therapist because the months of October and November were the most difficult.  In November, Steve was downsized from his job.  He decided to make a move back into the insurance industry, and he is now licensed to sell health, life, property and casualty insurance.  Steve is now working at a State Farm agency in Lebanon, and he has found his new career path.

With Steve out of work, I made the decision to return to gainful employment after 5 years of being a stay-at-home mom, and I am currently working full-time as a Patient Financial Counselor for Community Health Network.  It is strange to enter the workforce after so much time away, and I’m still trying to find my way.

I had hoped to add a blog feature to Sammy’s website, but after hours of time wasted on it, I just couldn’t figure it out.  I sure do hate it when software applications are smarter than I am!  So, until I can find more time and patience, I’ll just keep following the same format that has served me well the past few years.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →