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Cayden

12 Feb

We went out of town last week. We drove to North Carolina to attend the Celebration of Life service for Cayden Arnold. Cayden’s mom is on the board of directors of Families for HoPE, and she’s one of our founding directors. Cayden was born in August 2003, just four months following Sammy’s birth. Cayden passed away in his sleep on January 31, just three weeks after Sammy. The trip was very therapeutic and healing for us, allowing us to express our love and grief for both Sammy and Cayden, along with all of the other little ones with HPE who have passed away. Today, we learned that a writer from the Associated Press has written about Cayden and his special family. Click on this link from USA Today.

Steve returned to work yesterday following a leave of absence. I’m at home today, and today is my first day alone in the house since Sammy passed away. The only sounds I hear are the furnace running and drops of water from the leaky faucet in the bathroom just around the corner. It’s quite different than it was with Sammy here when I’d hear the nurse’s footsteps, the suction machine, the feeding pump alarms. No longer do I hear the phrases, “Sammy just threw up, again!”, “Leslie, can you come look at this?”, or “Did you realize that you’re almost out of wipes?” Those phrases and sounds would be music to my ears today!

Storms

3 Feb

A few nights ago, tornado warnings were issued in the area, and we didn’t quite know what to do with ourselves. Typically, we would be scurrying around the house gathering up Sammy’s medical equipment, emergency supplies, medications, and blankets in preparation for seeking shelter in our bathroom. On Memorial Day weekend a few years ago, a tornado did hit our neighborhood, and Sammy was safe and secure in the bathroom surrounded by everything he might need in the event of a disaster–except we had forgotten the Ambu Bag which he would need if he were to stop breathing. It was on that day when I realized that I house just isn’t a home unless there’s an Ambu Bag in every room!

A few nights ago, we were watching the storm roll in, listening to the emergency sirens blaring, and with a slightly-nervous voice Steve warned, “Leslie, you need to get things ready!” My reply was, “Okay . . . but you realize that all I have to do is walk into the bathroom and close the door, right?” It was strange that my mind wasn’t racing with all of the “what ifs” and anticipating what steps I would need to take in an effort to keep Sammy safe because I have the peace and comfort of knowing that Sammy is completely safe and secure in heaven!

How are you doing?

21 Jan

1/21/08 – The most frequently asked question we hear these days is, “How are you doing?” The simple answer is that we’re doing okay. We miss Sammy so very much, and the house seems so quiet without him. We do plan to keep updating his website, and in the coming days and weeks, we hope to share with you some of the touching tributes that we have received.

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