I participated in a little retail therapy tonight with my friend, Arika. Like Sammy, her daughter Madelyn was born with HPE. Arika was with us the night that Sammy passed away, and I was there with her and her husband when they said goodbye to their beloved daughter last June. As I drove home from our excursion, I heard a new song on the radio that I’d never heard before. It’s called “Always”, it was inspired by a bereaved mother who was mourning her son on his birthday. It seemed like it was a song that I was supposed to hear, so I thought I’d share it. Here’s a link: Always by Building 429
Wheelchair
6 AprSammy’s birthday is on Friday, April 10; it would be his 6th birthday. It’s difficult to believe that this is the second birthday we have celebrated since Sammy went to heaven. Last year, we went out to lunch with family members and the nurses who cared for Sammy in our home. After lunch, we all gathered at Sammy’s preschool as his teachers and classmates joined us in releasing balloons in memory of Sammy. A few days after his birthday, we also attended a concert by Chris Rice, one of Sammy’s favorite singers/songwriters.
Over the past few weeks, Steve and I have been trying to determine how we might honor Sammy’s birthday this year. We finally decided to take a road trip to West Virginia to make a special delivery to David, a little boy with HPE. We will begin our trip on Friday, Sammy’s birthday. For the past year, Sammy’s wheelchair has sat empty, and we have decided that it’s time to give the wheelchair a new home. David needs a wheelchair, and we think Sammy would be happy if he knew that his “Cadillac” will be going to another little boy.
It hasn’t been easy to let go of Sammy’s things. We don’t hold onto these things because of their material worth, but so many of Sammy’s things hold such memories for us. Many sweet memories surround Sammy’s wheelchair. Sammy’s wheelchair allowed him to roll down Main Street at Disney World. At preschool, all of Sammy’s classmates would gather behind his wheelchair, and they would give Sammy a group escort to his awaiting school bus. Because Sammy never traveled lightly, it wasn’t uncommon to lift Sammy out of his chair, and then see the the entire wheelchair tip backward without his weight in the chair to counter balance it. Before we give it to David, I may even have to let someone push the wheel of the chair over my foot one last time for old-times sake!
On the night that Sammy passed away, it was so very strange for us to drive home in the van with an empty wheelchair sitting in the spot where Sammy should have been sitting. Sammy’s wheelchair sat untouched for nearly 10 months as I just couldn’t bring myself to go through the storage pockets and remove the supplies and items that we had stored there. Even a year later, I still haven’t gotten comfortable in walking through the front door of church without pushing that wheelchair, so Steve and I have found that if we enter and exit through a side door, it doesn’t feel as unnatural to us. Some of my identity was wrapped up into that chair because everyone just automatically knew it was Sammy Harley rolling through those doors on Sunday morning.
But now, it’s time to let go, and the wheelchair is our first step. Sammy’s journey has ended, but the journey for David is just beginning. We’re excited that David’s family will be able to use our gift to make special memories with their son. Maybe it will even make a return trip to Disney World one day!
6th birthday
31 MarSammy’s birthday is just around the corner on April 10, and it would be his 6th birthday. Rather than focusing on our loss and sadness, it’s important for us to focus on the wonderful memories that we created with him. In thinking about how we can honor Sammy on his birthday, Steve and I have decided to give Sammy’s wheelchair to another little boy with HPE. Sammy’s wheelchair went to so many great places during Sammy’s life, and we’re excited to think that his wheelchair will once again be on the move. Steve and I will be driving to West Virginia on Easter weekend to deliver the chair in person. As we stop at rest areas along the way, we will release a few helium balloons and possibly have the opportunity to share Sammy’s story and our hope with others.